sometimes i sit in coffee shops and listen to those around me. couples, friends and family gather together to chat, while sipping slowly on their warm cups filled with refreshments. there’s a mix of conversation here, some which beam laughter and joy with their encouraging words and uplifting subjects. they light up the corner that those people nestle in, radiating positivity and sincerity to any who catch a word. they stay for hours, seeming to get lost in time in their conversation of utmost depth, the things that mean something to them. when they do, however, suddenly remember that hours have passed, they walk away feeling like it was worth something. there are others that remain here, too. the many others who come and go while the rest have sat and forgotten they are in a coffee shop at all. these others are those who have conversations consisting of just the opposite. these are the individuals who come and carry words of negative expressions and stories of other people as they go. the latest “news” from this or that person they encountered the other day. the faults of other people and the words that tear down instead of lift up. you can almost see the weariness of holding all that weight of the validation from others drain each person carrying that luggage. those people seem to crave something more. maybe i have noticed this precisely because i used to be one of those people.
i think we all want to change the world in some way. if not the world, at least the little corner of it that we exist in individually. we all crave meaning out of our lives. i think we all crave those conversations that last hours that we can’t seem to get enough of, we seem to stop ourselves from it because we are afraid. whether we realize it or not. afraid to open up, to be known by someone else, maybe even to be known by ourselves. we’d rather sip our coffee and let it try to fill up the feeling that the negative conversation being had is causing. too often we are missing what the real point in daily life is. we miss that we should not (and do not) thrive on negative thoughts about anyone, even ourselves. i have found that putting an abrupt end to this habit clears up how you not only see other people, but how you see the world around you and how you may see yourself. there is no need to be scared, for the world is marvelous. don’t put a mask on your conversations. step into that coffee shop, order your large caramel latte with hazelnut and choose.
what conversation do you REALLY want to have?